Shaking off the Dark and Nasty in 3 parts

Part 1. A lie for the greater good
I had this thought a few weeks ago, but I shut it down due to it's childishness and silliness. But after seeing a news story last night I think I may consider a change of heart. The honest facts as they are: 1) All of my besties now live literally 100s of miles away 2) Though my co-workers are awesome for the most part I really don't socialize with them outside of work, we just aren't into the same things 3) Casual friends and acquaintances are around, but not generally close, nor do I hangout with anyone particularly often. 4) My family knows they aren't going to hear about anyone until it is super serious.
So setting aside the fact that the above mentioned makes my life seem utterly pathetic, it puts me in a position to do something. Make up a pretend boyfriend. I know, right, why? I have been pretty content with my life the way it has been up until this year. For some reason this year a lot of things have started to bother me and one of them is never having been in a serious relationship. I am really not close enough to anyone right now for anyone to know if I am lying or not. So if it will make me feel better about myself and my situation, and having conversations with people why don't I just lie about having a boyfriend. Just make up some okay, but not great, fictional character so I have something to tell someone when they ask.

I guess I can't really do this now 'cause I have talked about doing it. But really who reads this shit anyway? Maybe I will...at least check it out and see if it does make me feel better

Part 2: I am amazing
I know that sounds like a really arrogant statement, and I suppose in someways it is, but I am amazing. What I lack in talent, I make up for with hard work. What I lack in strength, I make up for with caring and honesty. But right now, tonight, it is wearing thin. I am tired and lonely. If the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, do I need to try being mediocre for awhile? I need my weekends to be booked, a goodnight phone call every night and some place to go during the day that deserves to have me there.

Part 3. I am your solution
Why can't someone just come across my portfolio and realize they need me. Why can't someone just chat with me for a couple of minutes and realize they would be a fool to not bring me into their fold. You hear all these stories about people posting things online and someone stumbling across them and liking them so much they hire them. Its not that I am tired of the hard work, I am just tired of it not paying off.

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This has been a pretty whiny post, but I needed to get it out of head. Hopefully it will help lighten my mood, by lightening the load. I am just so tired of being stuck where I am.

In the mean if anyone out there knows of anyone hiring a GD I'd appreciate a heads up.

I will never unhear that.

So this weekend I had a total "80s" day. I put a pink streak in my hair, used some heavy black liner a put on some bright teal green shadow on my eyes. And after all that was still willing to go out in public :)

All in all it was actually pretty fun. It isn't very often that I spend an hour, yes an hour, on my makeup. Mostly because I don't go anywhere that would warrant me spending that much time on my makeup (I usually a five minute mascara girl).

So it should be no surprise to anyone that I have found my new addiction. I can now add makeup to my alcohol, pens, pencils, and paper addictions. So if you can't find me anywhere else I am sure you'll find me at the new Ulta store in Farmington.

It has been one of those weeks where I have had a lot I wanted to blog about, but I always seem to put it off so then I am left with the choice a writing a really long post about everything, breaking it up and burying one or more of the posts or just wipe the slate clean a start fresh with what I am writing about right now. I always end up going with the starting fresh option...

I had an amazing photo day yesterday. I love to take photos, though I don't think I am very good at it, but I seldom make time to do it. But Saturday I got the urge. I grabbed my little point and shoot (I kicked myself for not taking the film SLR), my mini tripod and my keys and took off around town. I knew there were a couple of things I wanted to get.  I want to start a waiting blog with a heavy train theme (don't ask) so I got some good train oriented shots. Hopefully that will be up and running in the next week or two. I also got some great shots for the Leaky Light Co-op as well. As a matter of fact I have already posted them. You should go check it out.

I want to leave you with something to think about if you are a movie buff. I learned a little something about Blu-Ray discs this last week and it bothered me. And maybe DVDs were the same way, maybe VHS was too...I don't know, but...To be able to produce (commercially, I mean) a Blu-Ray disc you have to apply to Sony for licensing rights before I replicator will even consider producing it for you. So Sony won the HD-DVD / Blu-Ray battle. Sony has essence cornered the market on High Definition entertainment, and they require you to pay them to be able to produce your film in HD. This is part of the reason why the price of Blu-Rays are so much more than regular DVDs. So the next time you grab a Blu-Ray off the shelf to buy keep just keep what your really buying...if your okay with it that's great. But I might think twice before I buy Sony again...I said think about...I didn't say it would stop me.

Thirty is why God gave man the intelligence to create waterproof mascara

23 minutes ago I wanted to write about being thirty. I wanted to get it all out there, thinking that would make me feel better about the disappointment. Its not so much the age that bothers me , but the un-met goals and biting realizations. I don't really want to think about it anymore. Lets just say the first 25.5 hours of thirty haven't been the best (the word sucked come to mind, but I am a bit of a drama queen) but I still have 8734.5 more that have perfect potential to be spectacular.