Sunday, January 04, 2015

Life is far too important to talk about seriously.

So last year I threw the list out the window in May 'cause I thought I had just upended my life. Turns out things weren't so bad. I should have picked them back up but I didn't. Anyway, like last year, I am trying again. If you saw my last year's list you will notice that a lot of those items are on here. Plus, I have brought back some others from past years. And threw in a couple of new ones. Nothing Earth shattering on this list, but I am being pretty God damn ambitious :D

01. 24 Movies: seen in theaters.

02. 12 Books: in whatever medium I choose.

03. 365 Selfies: I hate having my picture taken, and it shows, there are so few pics of me. I don't plan on sharing them all, but at the end of the year I want to have 365 images of me that I can mash into one of those year end vids.

04. 240 Photographs: I tried for 365 last year and fell miserably shot. So I am decreasing the number and trying again.

05. Social Media Guru: Wouldn't be a great job to get paid to play on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, etc., etc.? I want to be a Social Media guru, not cause I want a million followers, but because I want to help someone else get a million followers.

06. Online Dating: Why the hell not? My "stop looking and it will find you" approach hasn't lets give it a go.

07. Lose Weight: 'Cause I might break things if I have to buy up another size.

08. YouTube Channel: Again, I don't want followers necessarily, I just want to create some cool videos

09. My College Design Dream: I am not going to lay out my 12 point plan here, but I have had this dream since college and it has to do with producing a graphic design product.

10. Quotes on Do I Need A Reason: Maybe not 1000, but lets try to triple the number of quotes on here + lets double check attribution on everything.

11. Publish Recipe Book: Every time I get into my mom's recipe drawer I cringe. This will be the year I can feel it.

12. Start a Retirement Fund: I am too old to have not started thinking about retirement. Extra funds should go here this year.

13. Renew Passport: Um yeah...I want to go to Canada this year.

14. Apply for Out-of-State jobs: 'Cause I need to grow

15. Apply for Out-of-Country jobs: It might be fun to be a foreigner.

16. Start an eCommerce website: I just have to decide what it is I want to sell online.

17. Get into Tumblr: Maybe I am trying to be young again, but Tumblr is where my social media is lacking the most I think.

18. Train Titan: We've got the basics down, and a couple of fun ones, but I think we could teach him so much more.

19. Write (and Self Publish) a Story: Magic, Mystery, Murder, and Saving the will be good

20. Learn a Bit of Code: I could get so many more jobs if I knew a bit more about code.


Saturday, January 03, 2015

Oh! You meant 'spectacularly ignorant' in a nice way.

It's that time again, when I feel reflective on the experiences of the last 365 days or so. I went back a looked at some of entries I wrote/posted over 2014 and what I can say with absolute certainty is: this was a transformative year for me.

I started the year miserable. 2013 didn't end well for me, but I had held out hope that the turning of the year would change things. Unfortunately it didn't and the beginning of 2014 was full of disappointment, broken promises and hardship.

I did go to Portland in February. It was a much needed and well deserved vacation. Carla and I had a great adventure. I loved it, there were some hard times, but I think that is part of what made it great. As soon as I got back though things fell right back into misery.

I told myself for months, "this will be the week I change it", "next week will be the week I give notice", etc. I kept holding on to this broken thing thinking if I could just hold out a little longer it would get better; if I just wait it out I will get the tools to fix it. I did this until...well...until I hit my wall. That is when I did something rather rash and unlike me.

I quit. It was the first week in May. I walked into work and started my day like any other. There was a meeting in the morning and emails just after that. That's when it hit me square in the face; this was my moment. I wasn't going to move my line again. I got an email and it pushed me past my limit. It wasn't a big thing, it wasn't something worth quitting over in and of it self, and it affected no one else. There had been plenty of moments in the previous weeks that were more worthy of this action. Yet, I turned to my manager told him I was taking lunch and I left the office to breathe, and when I came back I said my goodbyes to the people I wanted to, sent an email to the owner, picked up the last few things off my desk and I left...and that is when my year began.

It was hard to linger in the fear of not having a job because I felt like the weight of a thousands worlds had been swept off my back. I was happy. I was smiling. I was laughing again. Why had I not done this earlier? Why did I torture myself for so long?

It was amazing the people who stood up to help me. It was astonishing the confidence I gained because of that. So I decided to take a chance, instead of finding a full-time job with someone else I decided to start working for myself. From there things have only gotten better.

I love working from home. I am glad to be available during the day to help out with things. I have been able to travel - I made it to Idaho and Florida since I left my job. I am still learning things and meeting new people.

I don't regret my time at OPSGEAR. I learned so much and had the opportunity to meet some absolutely amazing people. But if I hadn't left I wouldn't be on this amazing adventure now.

2014, in the end, had more good days than bad; more good adventures than bad; more good stories than bad. That is how I know 2015 can only be good, because my adventure is still going on.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

There's always money in the Banana Stand

So I was thinking of starting a Kickstarter campaign. Actually I am leaning more to Indiegogo, but that is just splitting hairs I think. Anyway I have this project that has been burning inside of me since my senior year of college. I don't want to go into too much detail (for obvious reasons), but it is design related and mostly typographic. After doing a little research and listening to some professionals I find myself more than a little discouraged.

Do you know what every pro told me was the key to their success on Kickstarter, having a large "fan" base before launching a Kickstarter. I find this discouraging because if you already have the followers why do you need Kickstarter, just pre-sale your product or service to your already established following.

And if that wasn't a big enough blow, then I came to this realization: Kickstarter is just another product driven shopping site. The word crowdfunding is deceptive. It leads you to believe that this is a place to find funding for your project, when really it is a place for people to buy things, knowing that they are not available for immediate consumption because money is needed to produce the product. This actually came out of one of the professionals mouths, "Your project should be 90% done before you even think of starting a Kickstarter campaign."

I thought I was looking for funding to make my project happen. Not just money to get it fabricated.

Maybe I am so discouraged because what I want to produce isn't a single item to be purchased or perhaps not something to be purchased at all (which maybe doesn't make sense without more information about my project).

Anyway...I just wanted to rant... 

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

She's broken because she believed

I find myself reacting to every situation like he is the cause of it, the head of it, and the push behind it. I hope that one day soon I am not longer broken by it.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Always remember, it’s simply not an adventure worth telling if there aren’t any dragons.

So a couple of weeks ago I did a very bold thing (for me) and quite inadvertently set out on an adventure.

In a very short period of time this adventure has taught me a thing or two. Mostly, that you never really know the situation you are in until you step back, step out or step away.

Looking back I see now that I should have fought more battles. I should have tried harder to be heard whether or not I was to be understood. And I shouldn't have been afraid to burn a bridge that was in such disrepair.

Compromise turned into complacency and submissiveness somewhere along the way and it took stepping off the path to see it.

Ultimately, the lesson I am still trying to learn is...don't be afraid to fail.