What a Difference a Day Makes

It is amazing what a difference a day makes (or possibly two-I can't remember when my last post was and I am too lazy to go check). Today was a complete waste. I am going to do my best not to bitch about no privacy, and having to put my life on hold why others get ready for their day. I wasn't up and running until one-ish which was only partially of my own volition. I went to school (both campuses) to pick up books - more fucking semiotics books...dear lord...that was the biggest mistake of my life. After I got home I did nothing, absolutely nothing. And today that doesn't bother me. You have enough people tell you that you are, in fact, doing okay, and that everything will work out the way it is suppose to, and furthermore everything will be okay, just fine, even perhaps more than fine. It doesn't matter that these people really have no clue (whether they be my mother, best friend, or complete cyber stranger) about what is going on. You have enough people tell you it is all okay and you start to believe it, even though you know you shouldn't. So here I am rationalizing not doing anything today with the thought that I have a whole week and a half to get things done after Spring Break ends. I shouldn't have this attitude, but at this moment I do. And tomorrow-after dinner-after 2 drinks-waiting at an art show for a movie to start-my stomach will sink. The realization of how much time I have wasted will hit me like the brick wall that is my designer's block. Saturday I will once again be upset and sick over not getting enough done. I know this, it is my nature, and yet tonight-it still isn't bothering me. Something tells me I need to be medicated-by more than alcohol-quite heavily.