Another Disorder

I will say it again, I am not sure that choosing psychology as my minor was the best idea.

Along with my self diagnosed GAD and mild depression now I am starting to think I have some sort of attachment disorder or a fear of being forgotten. I just have this problem with ending things. As school is coming to close I find myself wanting to be closer to all the people I have spent so much time with over the past couple of years, and yet I really only know these people in their particular realms of relevance. I am sad that I will never see these people again. I know that I sounds dramatic and ominous, but it is true. I doubt if I will ever see any of these people again.

For instance, there is this professor-amazing guy-smart, funny, down to earth. He is the guy you would call if you have a trivia question that wouldn't let you go to sleep 'cause he seems to know a lil bit about everything. He's the guy who is quoting Shakespeare one minute and working ANOVAs the next. I will admit there were moments when this might have been considered a crush (because I have to say he is the stud, every department has one, the guy every guy wants to be and every girl wants to be with), but for the most part he is just one of those people you want to know, talk to, and hang out with. But now that things are drawing to a close, I am scrambling, and sad because he doesn't even know my name.

There are similar instances with my fellow designers. There are people that I want to work with, that I haven't. And now I won't have the chance to. I want to have a better relationship with the "bright ones" 'cause they will in turn make me better, but that isn't going to happen in two days.

I had a similar disappointment with since gone designers. I wanted them to remember me, and maybe contact me after they were gone...I wanted to work with the rock stars and didn't...

I guess what I really suffer from is the misconception that things will go on forever; that I have all the time in the world to do all the things I want. But I really don't.

I don't even think the phrase "better late than never" is true...if it were some of what I have done would make me feel better.