Tired

Bad attracts bad. Sending negative out only seems to bring negative back. I am tired. I feel my heart full to the brim with darkness and that saddens me. How does that old prayer go? "Give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other." So what am I to do: stop having those conversations with myself, pretend, smile and accept, graciously decline.

I am tired. I am broken. I am defeated. Do I feign happiness until it becomes real? Will it ever become real? Maybe I am just an unhappy person, but I enjoy being happy.