RANT!

Fuck it! What about my dysfunction is so much more repulsive than everyone else’s? Why does no one want me? I am tired of hoping, of wanting. Wanting only provokes need. What would I do if I actually needed? Probably die a slow and painful death, but wait, isn't that what I am doing right now? If I were aware of the problem I would fix it, but apparently everyone has been told not to inform me of my problem.

I admit I don't try often, but if this has been the result every time I have tried what is my incentive to continue. My disdain for this is only exceeded by my disdain for my own personal psychology. Is lonely a state of being or a state of mind? I refuse to believe it can be both, esp. simultaneously, but I have yet to decide what camp to which I belong.

Caught somewhere between anger and fear, tears just don't seem fair, but that isn't going to stop them from coming.